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Joke of the Day
"What's the cheapest kind of meat? Deer testicals they're under a buck."
Next Joke
"Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? The p is silent."
"This sub is the best. It has salami, pepperoni, lettuce, black olives, green peppers, provolone cheese, and oil. 10/10"
"Me: Hey, great costume, buddy! You look like a real... Him: Ma'am, please step out of the vehicle."
"I try to make good food, but it all turns to shit."
"HER: I like talking during sex, but I can't stand it when you narrate the whole thing ME: As she complains, I begin removing my pants slowly"
"Fellas, don't waste your time. Memorizing the lyrics to Gangnam Style hasn't gotten me laid once."
"Why do people think Henry the Sixth was a Norseman? Because he was a VI KING."
"What is ET short for? He's got little legs."
"*prepares to cook vegetarian chili* *spills the beans* Whoa, I suppose you could call that.. *lowers shades with a spatula*.. Kidney failure"