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Joke of the Day

"Leonardo's Solution to ""The Da Vinci Code"" ""Sibble. Stay id bed, dreeg pluddy ub fludes, taig eggstra Zinc ed Vidabid-C."""

"I screwed up self-checkout at the supermarket and had to ask myself if I could see a manager."

"A healthy sleep not only makes your life longer, but also shortens the workday."

"Ways Ryan Gosling and I are similar: 1. Up to date on our vaccinations 2. I dunno, that's probably it and I'm not sure about that first one."

"I should write a personal apology to the employees of the sewage treatment plant for what I just sent them."

"Yo momma's so fat You can see the couch behind her do to gravitational lensing."

"How do you turn a fruit into a vegetable? Hit that faggot with your car."

"I thought getting a vasectomy would stop my wife from getting pregnant Turns out it just changes the colour of the baby"

"What do you call an oil stain that lasted for 1000 years? Ancient grease"

"I like my women like I like my scotch... Twelve years old and mixed with coke."