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Joke of the Day

"Leonardo's Solution to ""The Da Vinci Code"" ""Sibble. Stay id bed, dreeg pluddy ub fludes, taig eggstra Zinc ed Vidabid-C."""

"Q: What do you call a clairvoyant midget who escaped from prison? A: A small medium at large."

"Did you hear about the lesbian couple who couldn't afford a double-headed dildo? They were having trouble making ends meet"

"*wife grabs my wrist as I go overboard* Her: You're... slipping... Me: Pretend I'm the covers. *she easily pulls me to safety with one arm*"

"How do you confuse a drummer? Give him sheet music"

"In olden times, sacrifices were made at the altar. A practice that still continues"

"Seriously considering telling the CDC I have Ebola, so they'll clean my house."

"What does Pink Floyd and Dale Earnhardt Sr. have in common? Both their last greatest hits was the wall."

"What does a philosopher put his/her food on? A contemplate"

"My favorite element is Helium I can't speak highly enough of it"