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Joke of the Day

"Sex (nsfw) What is the difference between regular sex and anal sex? Regular sex makes your day. Anal sex makes your whole week.. (hole weak)"

"A farmer in the field with his cows counted 196 of them, but when he rounded them up he had 200."

"Why does Steven Hawking hate the band Muse? Because he can't stand their song Uprising, it wants him to rise up and take the power back."

"ME: did it hurt GIRL AT BAR: did wat hurt ME: when ur hopes of having a nice uninterupted night out got crushed bc i started talking to u"

"A 1911 and a Glock walk into a bar.. The 1911 says to the Glock: ""Hey, ugly foreigner, want to do a drinking contest?"" The Glock says ""You old idiot, you can only last 8 rounds!"""

"""Quinoa"" sounds like something a ninja would say before kicking you."

"Your momma so fat... Yo momma is so fat when she is playing Pokemon go she can see all pokemons on her cell phone"

"I predict the iPad's small-but-not-quite-small-enough size will be a source of great consternation for fanny pack enthusiasts."

"What do you call an alien surfing the Internet? e-t."

"Whats the difference between a girl and a washing machine? When I dump a load in the washing machince, it doesnt follow me around"