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Joke of the Day
"A farmer in the field with his cows counted 196 of them, but when he rounded them up he had 200."
Next Joke
"What's the longest word in the English language? A native Texan saying, ""Sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiittttttttttttttttt."""
"What's the best thing about living with alzheimer's? You get to meet new people everyday."
"An old man died while having sex. (NSFW) He really went out with a bang."
"No, those pants don't make you look fatter. I mean, how could they?"
"If a guy says you're hot, he's looking at your body. If he says you're pretty, he's looking at your face... If he says you're fabulous, he's looking at your brother"
"My wife asked me today if I would ever cheat on her. I replied, ""Who else would I cheat on?"""
"Dyslexia cost me my job in IT Turns out my boss wanted me to unzip his 'files"
"What type of bees make milk...? Boo-bees!"
"Maybe my threats will be more effective if, after I mentioned all the people I've killed, I don't say, ""in RuneScape."""