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Joke of the Day

"A 1911 and a Glock walk into a bar.. The 1911 says to the Glock: ""Hey, ugly foreigner, want to do a drinking contest?"" The Glock says ""You old idiot, you can only last 8 rounds!"""

"/r/jokes won't get this Original jokes"

"Why does C-3PO always tell Han the Odds? Because he can't even."

"I fear one day my gf will figure out every romantic thing I say to her is a line from Brokeback Mountain."

"They've been together for 28 years! DEEZ NUTS"

"If you love someone, throw your earbuds at them. There's a good chance they'll be entangled in them and won't be able to run."

"How often do lesbian gypsies get their hands read? Every 28 days or so."

"*makes sure kids are asleep* *walks out to car* *slowly unwraps candy bar* *hears knock on window* *puts head down* *hands it to them*"

"What do you call soap for your ass-hole? Shampooder."

"The scene from The Exorcist where she's tied to the bed cursing like a sailor, but it's me when getting a Brazilian."