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Joke of the Day

"Whats the difference between a girl and a washing machine? When I dump a load in the washing machince, it doesnt follow me around"

"What did the pay phone say when the quarter got stuck inside it? Money's tight these days!"

"What caused the civil war in Ethiopia? Too many Negus."

"I came home from work and finally caught the filthy bitch red handed. So I asked my daughter to please wash her hands if she masturbates on her period."

"I hope I don't get rheumatoid arthritis.. Fingers crossed."

"When playing the guitar in public... keep in mind not to finger A minor, you could get arrested."

"Why didn't the ghost have any children? Because he had a Halloweenie!"

"What's the Difference Between Being Hungry and Horny? Where you put the cucumber!"

"Did you hear about the protests going on outside of Madison Square Garden? Everyone was yelling ""Hands up, Don't Shoot"" but J.R. Smith and Carmelo Anthony just wouldn't listen."

"Though he came from a long line of spoons, Sammy Spork always noticed a slight resemblance to Mom's friend Frank, the fork living next door."