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Joke of the Day

"Are there any 6 foot penguins round here? Asked the stranger who just pulled up wih his truck outside a bar. ""No"" the barkeep replied. ""Well fuck,"" he said, ""I guess I just ran over a nun..."""

"A website that automatically plays music or needs to ""load"" is as outdated & terrible as slavery."

"Fear of hospitals isn't irrational, I went to 1 once for a stomach-thing & I've had a kid following me around calling me ""mom"" ever since."

"My friend told me he was flying on a plane for the first time. I told him to have a blast."

"What is the difference between a BMW and a porcupine? The porcupine has its pricks on the outside."

"Before I tell my wife something important, I take both her hands in mine. That way she can't hit me with them."

"Q: How can you tell the dumbest actress working on a movie? A: She's the one sleeping with the writer."

"Why does Chuck Norris play cowbell? Because he beats time!"

"IAMA convicted murderer who escaped last week from an upstate New York prison currently on the run somewhere in North America. AMA!"

"GURU: You have achieved the state of sakrdagamin: you will reach nirvana within seven lifetimes ME: [slipping him a $20] How about six"