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Joke of the Day
"What is the difference between a BMW and a porcupine? The porcupine has its pricks on the outside."
Next Joke
"What is Pat Sajak's favorite Christmas carol? No L"
"Just gave a homeless man $5 because I know what it's like to be sober."
"Press 1 for English. Press 2 For shitty customer service in any language."
"When someone shows you they don't want to be a part of your life, let them go. I'm not saying you can't make a voodoo doll of them, though."
"""You got a friend in me"" - your friend's girlfriend"
"""You're what you eat"" So say hello to your new Mum ;)"
"What is the difference between a small vagina and a douchey midget? One is a runty cunt and the other is a cunty runt."
"Boss - can you pass a piss test? Me - Sure...distance or accuracy?"
"Why do hipsters drink coffee so quickly? They want to finish before it's cool."