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Joke of the Day

"There are two types of people in this world Those who can extrapolate from incomplete data sets"

"I figured out why there are so many masturbation-related injuries that's when all the guardian angels cover their eyes"

"Why did the heart get sent to police station? Cardiac arrest."

"Bread is not emotionally mature enough to have threesomes When you spread your nuts all over one slice, the other gets jelly."

"My girlfriend spilt hummus all over her... Can't believe that chick pea'd herself"

"this guy said i had a chip on my shoulder. i looked over and saw a bowl of salsa on his. i knew right then kids. your father was my soulmate"

"Your momma's so fat it takes two warlocks to summon her."

"Have you ever had sex while camping? Its fucking intense."

"Who do you call a really thin dinosaur? Tyranosaurus Annorex"

"Where is the monster's temple? On the side of his head."