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Joke of the Day

"this guy said i had a chip on my shoulder. i looked over and saw a bowl of salsa on his. i knew right then kids. your father was my soulmate"

"Pete and Marco Rubio are on a boat. Pete falls off. Who is left? Marco Rubio"

"What is a pigs favourite ballet? Swine Lake!"

"Antivirus pioneer John McAfee is wanted by the Police for murder charges. If they catch him, they estimate the trial could last 30 days."

"What car does the Loch Ness Monster drive? A Ford F-tree-fiddy"

"Playing the long game. some months back I planted lettuce in my garden. yesterday I was making dinner and asked my girlfriend to go pick some lettuce. she said ""why?"" I said ""just Cos"" ba dum tisssssh"

"I asked Siri to tell me a joke She turned the front-facing camera on"

"""I hate you but I'm not in hate with you."" - Murderer delicately explaining why he left a victim with only a light stabbing"

"I got caught masturbating by the fedex guy I shouldn't have answered the door, but you gotta sign for that shit or wait til he comes again."

"My son just handed me a duck & a pig from his puzzle & smiled as if that made us ""even"" for all the food/clothing I've given him."