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Joke of the Day

"this guy said i had a chip on my shoulder. i looked over and saw a bowl of salsa on his. i knew right then kids. your father was my soulmate"

"What did Wendy do when she first saw Captain Hook? She Peedherpants"

"A man's idea of serious commitment is usually, ""Oh alright, I'll stay the night."""

"But is that likely? Whaaat __ You don't know Lee? Pleasant chap, though he doesn't fancy being compared to a butt."

"I was addicted to the hokey pokey but then I turned myself around."

"How do you stop your dog digging holes in your garden? By hiding the shovel in the shed/garage"

"I had to do my nightly chores twice today Thanks daylight savings!"

"Q: What's red and smells like blue paint? A: Red paint."

"Why is the sea so salty? because the land won't wave back."

"It is scientifically impossible for Chuck Norris to have had a mortal father. The most popular theory is that he went back in time and fathered himself."