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Joke of the Day

"Why ebola medicine doesn't work in Africa? Because it can't be taken on empty stomach"

"My signature move is being a complete idiot trying to convince someone that I'm not drink. Drank. Drunk."

"Classic one How do you make a hormone? Don't pay her."

"This hot girl ""punched""me in the dick this afternoon She only gently touched it, but it's all swollen up now :/"

"50 shades of grey After reading 50 Shades of Grey my wife asked me to tie her tightly to the bed. ""Now what?"" I asked. ""Hurt me!"" ""Ok. You have saggy tits"""

"How many Mizzou students does it take to screw in a lightbulb? ""*Whys the lightbulb got to be white?!*"""

"What do Palestinian children dream of becoming when they grow up? Old"

"Glad I'm not a general, because auto-correct just changed ""lunch order"" to ""launch order."""

"How do ghosts navigate the ocean? They use boo-eys."

"Why don't blind people go skydiving? It scares the crap out of their dogs!"