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Joke of the Day

"50 shades of grey After reading 50 Shades of Grey my wife asked me to tie her tightly to the bed. ""Now what?"" I asked. ""Hurt me!"" ""Ok. You have saggy tits"""

"Scientists confirm the human body is 75% water, still unclear what the other 25% is, ""spaghetti we think"" says one scientist"

"Did you hear about the dyslexic science teacher? He was teaching the Law of Conversation."

"What did the perverted frog say? Rub-it!"

"Doctor Doctor I've got wind! Can you give me something? Yes - here's a kite!"

"Just saw the Lego Movie... ...it was very well *pieced* together! (Got this off Doug Benson's 'Doug Loves Movies' podcast)"

"Lincoln and Twilight opening the same weekend? Once again, Abe gets killed in a theater, and he's already fought vampires once this year."

"I walked into the bar and asked for something cold and full of rum. The bartender yelled to the back, ""Dear, there's someone here to see you."""

"I wasn't sure if I'd find deer out here, until... I saw a sign that said 'Fine for Hunting.'"

"I've been married to my wife for 20 years this week.. I've been married to my wife for 20 years this week and I've finally found the G Spot.. Turns out her sister had it all along."