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Joke of the Day

"[Walking into the gym Jan 1st] Trainer: Hello! This is a great life change you're making. Me: [confused] This used to be an Olive Garden.."

"How do you know if a hippo is in your oven? The door won't close"

"Homeless people's dogs must think, ""Damn, this is the longest walk ever!"""

"A group of crows framed my friend, ultimately leading to his death I swear I'll find the murder who criminalized him!"

"Did you know that people from Dubai don't like ""the Flintstones""? ... but Abu Dhabi do!"

"Why does SnoopDogg carry an umbrella? Fo' Drizzle!"

"What is the difference between a Cat fish and a lawyer? One is a shit eating bottom sucker. The other one is a fish..."

"Put a pill in wife's mouth while asleep ""WTF you doing?"" ""for your headache."" ""I don't have one!"" Just what I wanted to hear! *unzip flys"

"I'm having a very hard time believing that money can't buy me happiness. Especially since I'm constantly smiling when I have it."

"There was an inflation joke on reddit once It blew up"