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Joke of the Day

"I'm having a very hard time believing that money can't buy me happiness. Especially since I'm constantly smiling when I have it."

"You act like no one at work has ever asked you to apply ointment to a bunion before."

"Everything is made in China, except for babies, they're made in VaChina!"

"Why was the blonde nymphomaniac sad after she got her driver's license? She got an F in sex."

"Please retweet my son, it would mean a lot to him, apparently his mother's love isn't enough for him. #IfYourMomWroteYourTwitterBio"

"What animal has five legs? A pitbull returning from a playground."

"What's the worlds strongest animal? A 'buff'alo"

"Afraid to fly? It's perfectly safe except that air traffic controllers are all gov't employees forced to work the holidays. Merry Xmas."

"Why do they call it Almond Milk? Because if they called it Nut Juice nobody would buy it."

"Q: Why don't elephants go skinny dipping? A: They can't get their trunks off."