125158

Joke of the Day

"I'm not allowed in the Vietnamese sandwich shop anymore. They decided to banh mi for life."

"I thought I lost my car keys, but the NSA called and said they were in my other pants."

"The owner of the local pet store let me take a test fish home to see if I'd like one as a pet... ...It was a beta"

"Hi! Welcome to my makeup tutorial SO, the first step is to be a beautiful 20 year old with lots of money"

"Where do you find a dog that has no legs? Right where you left them."

"Challenge for r/jokes! lets hear your best non offensive jokes. (work safe ) last time i saw this posted it was filled with so a black, jew and so on."

"Groundhog Day The Groundhog saw dead people, so we're due six more weeks of creepy Nationwide Commercials..."

"Women always call me ugly until they find out how much money I make Then they call me ugly and poor"

"Dr: Have you been getting enough exercise? Me: Does sex count as exercise? Dr: Yes. Me: No."

"Baby come over. I'm coming over. Using walkie talkies in bed is strange over."