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Joke of the Day

"i was just about to ramp my car off a cliff into the ocean but then i remembered someone had told me to drive safe earlier"

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"What's the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean? Garbanzo beans were never the subject of bad puns."
"Why did the kid with muscular dystrophy want to be an astronaut, a doctor, a lawyer, and a NASCAR driver when he grew up? He had a lot of aspirations."
"What do you get when you cross Ebola and Tourette Syndrome?"
"This fortune cookie I just had said 'Off yourself' & my lucky numbers on the back was the phone number to a local gun shop."
"Copper wire was invented by two Jews fighting over a penny."
"What does Matt Damon call thrift shopping? Goodwill Hunting."
"""If you can make a woman laugh, you can make her do anything."" Bill Cosby"
"Some vampires went to see Dracula. They said ""Drac we want to open a zoo. Have you got any advice?"" ""Yes"" replied Dracula ""have lots of giraffes."""
"Did you know there is a Virus that turns fruits into vegetables? It's called AIDS."