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Joke of the Day

"Lent is a holiday invented by the banks to sell more loans"

"[Spoiler] Mark Hamill Star Wars joke Mark Hamill is such a loser he didn't even get a single word in the new Star Wars"

"FYI, you don't have to be a waiter in order to go in a restaurant and wander from table to table asking people, ""How's everything tasting"""

"Why did the Jew cross the road? Because the wind blew him there."

"Anyone here know of Gaddafi? Probably not. He's pretty underground."

"I made my first snowman today... It was so white it's already been nominated to Trump's Cabinet."

"Urethra! I've done it! ...says the gynecologist after a spectacular discovery. ""I don't think that's quite right sir,"" says the patient."

"Light a fire for a man and he'll be warm for the evening. Set a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life."

"""I've got chills. They're multiplying."" ""Sir, you're going into shock. Please stop narrating--"" ""And I'm losing control."" ""Sir!"""

"I've got an Uncle Rube. I mean he's really my mother's sister's roommate's friend's hairdresser's step-dad, but the effect is the same."