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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a lightbulb that holds the door for you? A polite bulb."

"BRUCE JENNER CHANGE OVER WHEN BRUCE JENNER FINISHES HIS CHANGE OVER IN BECOMING A WOMAN, OUT OF CURIOSITY (WINK WINK) I'D LIKE TO SEE HOW BIG HIS ASS IS GOING TO BE"

"My friend thinks he is smart. He told me an onion is the only food that makes you cry, so I threw a coconut at his face."

"How do old people go to the bathroom? Depends."

"it's always sad when you have to take your sick goldfish out to the pasture and shoot it in the head."

"How to cure a headache 1. Drink a glass of water. 2. Take 10 deep breathes. 3. Give headache your credit card & tell her to go to the mall."

"I do whatever I can to fight poverty So the other day, I punched a tramp (Courtesy of Milton Jones)"

"When I said I missed you, I meant with a hammer"

"What's a horny pirate's worst nightmare? A sunken chest with no booty."

"Why did the blond lay out on the lawn chair in her bikini at midnight? She wanted to get a dark tan."