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Joke of the Day

"I do whatever I can to fight poverty So the other day, I punched a tramp (Courtesy of Milton Jones)"

"I'm trying to teach my toddler how to headbang but he's pissed because he wants a bottle. I told him to save that anger for the mosh pit."

"Sometimes one middle finger isn't enough to let someone know how you feel. That's why you have two hands."

"Who was the fattest Pharaoh of ancient Egypt? Hippo-Ptolemy"

"Cuddled up to my girlfriend last night, she said, ""Aw you finally chose me over Facebook!"" I just didn't have the heart to tell her my battery just died."

"A grandpa tells his grandson ""Your generation depends too much on technology."" The grandson unplugs his grandpa's life support."

"Remember the game where you would take turns yelling, ""Penis!"" in public? Life was so simple before 9/11."

"If you own a small, anti-Kindle bookstore and it's not called Page Against the Machine, just give up."

"""Plagiarism Squad reporting for duty."" / ""Copy that."""

"A stupid glazier was examining a broken window. He looked at it for a while and then said ""It's worse than I thought. It's broken on both sides."""