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Joke of the Day

"it's always sad when you have to take your sick goldfish out to the pasture and shoot it in the head."

Next Joke
 
"Why do people say look when they want me to listen?"
"Everything I need to know about whether or not cops are allowed to search my car I learned from Jay-Z songs."
"What word in the dictionary is always spelled wrong? Wrong."
"Life is like pizza. It makes you fat."
"I hate this place, as soon as I find my clothes, I am leaving."
"*deathbed* All that time wasted. When I could have been *looks at family* getting down to this... sick... beat *dies* *widow rolls eyes*"
"Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken."
"A cop pulls over a guy for suspected DUI ""How high are you?"" the cop says. ""No, officer, it's 'Hi, how are you,'"" says the guy."
"There was this cute girl next to me and I missed a lot of obvious signals... We both ended up dying from the car crash."