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Joke of the Day
"I hate bipolar jokes... They're hilarious."
Next Joke
"Two muffins are in an oven The first one says its kind of hot in here. The second one says HOLY SHIT it's a talking muffin."
"What 11 letter word does every Yale graduate spell incorrectly? I n c o r r e c t l y"
"[death row] Guard: alright tough guy one last meal Me: a cyanide pill Guard: what? no we want to kill you! Me: too bad Guard: aw man"
"My 5th grader is one eye roll away from being listed on eBay this morning."
"Her: You should drink in moderation Me: Moderation?You makin words up? H: You're gonna piss on my lawn again aren't you? M: ...In moderation"
"Home is where the Wi-Fi is."
"What did the pirate say when his wife kept asking him about the steering wheel in his pants? ""Yargg! Woman! Stop asking me! You're driving me nuts!"""
"Wow, the guy buried alive with weed in his pocket must be rolling in his grave right now."
"Congress is like autocorrect It causes more problems then fixing them."