124674

Joke of the Day

"Why can't a Blonde make Kool-Aid?? She can't fit the two cups of water into the tiny packet."

"Sometimes when I'm sad, I'll go to the park and, from a distance, look thru my thumb and index finger and begin squishing people's heads..."

"Hi, I spend 3 minutes every day choosing a TV channel to leave on for my dog, then I go to work and people take me seriously as an adult."

"9am: Very busy day today, I need to focus & stay off the internet 1pm: did you know that Texas has the largest population of prairie dogs?"

"Looking to sell me theremin. Haven't touched it in years."

"They say children are a gift from god. I'm totally wide-open to regifting."

"Apparently, changing your profile to ""Flirty, dirty and a little squirty"" gets you kicked out of Christian Mingle."

"My ex and I split up with no hostility... We had a non-diss closure agreement"

"I always carry a jar gripper with me in case I'm ever stranded on a deserted island with a jar of salsa. I also always carry a jar of salsa."

"Perfect girls are found at every corner of the earth... unfortunately, the earth is round."