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Joke of the Day

"My ex and I split up with no hostility... We had a non-diss closure agreement"

"Why wouldn't Dolores let William eat the corn? Because the maize isn't meant for him."

"Guy runs into a bar, yells ""Quick! How tall is a penguin?"" Bartender says ""Three feet tall."" Guy says ""Oh my God! I just ran over a nun!"""

"So I was having sex with a girl from work... She wasn't really into it, and then to make matters worse my boss walked in on us. Long story short, I lost my job at the morgue."

"Did anyone else watch the documentary on pedophilia? It was so touching."

"Mama Pig has a great new kitchen appliance that lets her prepare meals ahead. It's called a garbage compactor."

"How did the chewing gum cross the road? By sticking to the chicken's foot."

"I've lost my dog! Have you tried putting a message on the Internet? Don't be silly my dog never reads e-mails!"

"Someone asked me when the narwhal bacons... ...my response was: ""huh?"""

"A Mexican Magician... ...told his audience he'd disappear on the count of three. He began counting ""Uno, dos..."" And he disappeared without a tres."