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Joke of the Day

"Should I Get In Trouble For Something I Didn't Do... Student: Should I get in trouble for something I didn't do? Teacher: No of course not! Student: Oh, OK great. I didn't do my homework..."

"What is the suicide emergency hotline number in Brazil? 127 Edit: [for clarification](http://www.fifa.com/worldcup/matches/round=255955/match=300186474/)"

"Don't bring up something I said 30 minutes ago. I'm a different person, I've changed since then."

"In all the alternate universes, in how many is Kim Kardashian super famous and in how many did she just get fired from a Wells Fargo?"

"What do you call a sleepwalking nun? A Roamin' catholic"

"- If you insinuate that I'm fat again, I'm leaving you! - Don't be selfish, think about the baby. - What baby? - Oh, so you're not pregnant?"

"What do you call 9 idiots who laugh at repetitive joke? 9gag"

"What do you call an alien in a swamp? A MARSHian"

"REMINDER: Joe Biden is the only American vice president in the last 15 years who hasn't shot a friend in the face."

"I wanted to upload the Mexico-Chile game to PornHub... ... but PornHub said they don't accept rape."