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Joke of the Day

"In all the alternate universes, in how many is Kim Kardashian super famous and in how many did she just get fired from a Wells Fargo?"

"I hate when the urinal auto-flushes while I'm still using it. Did I just cease to exist? Am I back now? If not, where am I peeing?"

"I say no to alcohol every day. It just doesn't listen."

"""Knok Knock "" -""Knok Knock."" =""Who's there ?"" -""Grandad"" =""Shit, stop the funeral"" credit: Gary Delaney"

"four gay man walked into a bar They wanted a seat but there was only one stool. They decided to take turns sitting down until one man suggested to turn the stool upside down."

"What did the bra say to the hat? ""I've got these two covered, you go on a head."""

"I can't believe how racist star wars is. Of course the only black guy never knew his father."

"You prefer white wine over red? For god's sake, try and see the world with some claret-y"

"I decided for dinner to make the Duck confit As I was in a really fowl mood."

"My buddy asked me what self explanatory meant... I didn't know what to say."