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Joke of the Day
"ME: [rubbing stomach after a big meal] WAITER: please stop touching me"
Next Joke
"Tomorrow I am going to dig up and open the time capsule I buried when I was a kid. Cannot wait to see how big my puppy has gotten!"
"May have put up a few too many Christmas lights. A 747 just landed in the backyard."
"You know when guys pee, and they shake their pen!s for that last drop? ...........That's how much gas I got for 2 dollars."
"It's so hot, I just saw a bird blow on a worm before it ate it"
"Why is the sea so salty? because the land won't wave back."
"My wife always finds a reason to hate every girl that I bring home."
"Does putting ketchup on everything affect your credit score?"
""" National No Bra Day""? I say pics or it didn't happen day."
"Astronomy Professor: What causes a half-moon? Student: When you can't get your jeans over your thighs."