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Joke of the Day

"I started a joke but I need help completing it. Two quadriplegics walk into a bar..."

"What do lawyers do after they die? They lie still."

"friend: i want a bf me: i want to hold the reins of 2 equally powerful, beautiful horses who run w/perfectly matched paces & also respect me"

"Went to a Trump rally in New Hampshire this week. Hard to describe the vibe, but ""what if the Nazis didn't care about fitness?"" comes close."

"Others change, but you should be yourself! said one corn to another in the digestive tract"

"My gym bag is so funny. Today it was like ""What does the outside of your car trunk look like?"" and ""What's a gym?"""

"Did you hear about the midget psychic who escaped from prison? The headline said ""Small Medium at Large"""

"On toilet in a stall playin TigerWoods on phone.eagled a par5.Crowd cheered.Pretty sure guy in the next stall thought I just took epic dump"

"I think God is for the legalization of marijuana. After all, the Bible is full of people getting stoned."

"How many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb? It's a really obscure number and you've probably never heard of it."