123875

Joke of the Day

"I can't believe how strong the winds were last night. I nipped out to get my wife some milk and got blown into the f*cking pub."

"Black magic is just like regular magic, but with bigger wands."

"1 Ring to rule them all, 1 Ring to find them, 1 Ring to bring them all & in the darkness bind them. 3 rings to let Mum know you're home safe"

"Why are black people unable to get a Ph.D.? Because they can't get past their masters."

"So a blind man walks into a bar. At least he thinks so."

"JUDGE: put ur hand on this book and promise not to lie PERSON WHO IS IN COURT LITERALY FOR LYING ABOUT THINGS: uh...... ok"

"I'd have an extra 18 hours of free time every day if I lost my phone."

"Killing two birds with one stone this weekend Taking my mother to Hooters sounds rock solid."

"What's the difference between god and an engineer God doesn't walk around thinking he's a fuckin engineer. (Told to me by a millwright)"

"Have you seen www.lockeddoor.com? Yes but I found it very difficult to get into."