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Joke of the Day

"Have you seen www.lockeddoor.com? Yes but I found it very difficult to get into."

"I'm on a plane with the dad from Home Alone and it's taking all my strength to not scream ""WE FORGOT KEVIN!"""

"I was thinking of taking the cross product of force and distance, ... ... but that's so much work."

"I was once put in the 'friend zone,"" but with perseverance that all changed. I'm now in the 'must stay 200 yards away at all times zone.'"

"Did you know if you drink the fluid from a magic 8 ball you can see the future. Trust me. My friend Keith did it once and he said he was going to die and then he did."

"""Don't move or she's dead"" was the last thing the wife heard before the husband started tap dancing."

"How do you know ancient Egyptians loved books so much? Because they built their stuff with reads!"

"I'm disappointed to see that a lot of women are using ""period tracker apps"" now, instead of the shared Google spreadsheet I set up."

"What's the worse part about eating a vegetable? Putting her back in the wheelchair"

"*follows Dreams* ~dream doesn't follow back~ ~unfollows Dream~"