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Joke of the Day

"Roe v Wade is my favorite bitter controversy about the best way to cross a small river."

"How to flirt: 1. Giggle 2. Apply lip gloss 3. Look down coyly 4. Realize you applied concealer 5. Fall off barstool"

"How many Duggars does it take to screw a planet? <EOM> ;^)"

"I've been reading the most interesting book on the history of superglue I just can't put it down ......"

"Why can't some snakes get boners? Because they have a reptile dysfunction."

"When Michael Jackson's son was born, he asked the doctor, ""How soon can we have sex?"" The doctor replied, ""At least wait till he's 13."""

"I only wear dresses on sad occasions, like funerals and weddings."

"Sometimes I do things to children that they're too young to understand... ...such as teaching them calculus and microbiology."

"Watching a documentary is the leading cause of being unbearable in conversations for a week."

"I had a roommate, but he was ran over by a bus... Now I have a flatmate."