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Joke of the Day

"Have you heard of divorced barbie? Her set costs $450. ...mostly because it comes with Ken's house, Ken's car, and one of Ken's friends."

"When I was 12 years old, my Dad approached me and said ""Son, do you know anything about sex?""... I said ""Sure Dad, what do you wanna know?"""

"Customer: Waiter, theres a button in my salad... Waiter: It must have come off while the salad was dressing."

"My love for you is like diarrhea......I cant hold it in.."

"If a vampire bites his tongue, does his tongue become a vampire? Tongpire?"

"It all... The title says it all."

"If you're American when you go into the bathroom and American when you come out, what are you *IN* the bathroom? European."

"TSA AGENT: take off ur shoes please ME: [hiding counterfeit pokemon cards in my shoes] the dude in front of me said he has a grenade"

"New low: Looking in my purse and seeing my TV remote."

"Did you hear about the married Amish woman having an affair? She loved two Mennonite."