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Joke of the Day
"What's the best time to go to the dentist? At toothhurty."
Next Joke
"[impatiently yells] ""What do I have to do to get a margarita around here??"" And that's when I got kicked out of Dairy Queen."
"They say insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, expecting a different result. This is my 56th time posting this joke."
"Why is the number of black priests so small? Most of them run away after being called father once or twice"
"What did the squirrel say when he fell out of the tree and broke his leg? AAAAAUUUUUUGGGHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!"
"I spent the whole day cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean trying to find out where my son hides his weed."
"[first date] Me: You into role playing? Her: Kinky, what do you have in mind? Me: You fake a heart attack and we get our meal for free."
"The Walmart app just updated on my phone and now water autocorrects to soda and exercise autocorrects to Doritos and beer."
"What is it about being blind... ...that makes people want to walk their dog so much?"
"I thought we had the right to bear arms but when I got them I was arrested for animal abuse"