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Joke of the Day
"Why do cows like being told jokes ? Because they like being amoosed !"
Next Joke
"What did the last-place olympian say after someone stole his sled? What have I got to luge?"
"Guy walks into a bar and asks for a ""Lindsay Lohan shot""... Bartender asks ""What is that?"" He replies with ""Oh you know, A redheaded-slut with a splash of coke."""
"Denial. Anger. Bargaining. Depression. Acceptance. These are the five stages of learning that Ben Affleck is the new Batman."
"Pal: That's an impressive stingray. How'd you catch it? Me:*flashes back to being dressed as girl stingray* You know, the regular way."
"What is Jabba the Hut's middle name? the"
"[lays down] Me: Feels so good to close my eyes. Brain: We should think about a fire evacuation plan."
"What type of computer is unusually large? A Dell"
"ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ A gift for all redditors. It's called The Alphabet. You can use as much of it as you want, as many times as you want so that you will write in complete fucking sentenc"
"Whenever someone says smart phones are turning people into zombies, look up from your phone just long enough to bite them."