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Joke of the Day

"This one time in High School I ate an entire roll of quarters Shit was so cash"

"Wanna hear a joke? My sex life..."

"Ariana Grande would be the first kid on the factory tour taken away by the Oompa Loompas."

"""You hang UP."" ""No, YOU hang UP."" - Movie theater workers arguing about hanging movie poster for Up."

"I'm so sick and tired of my friends who can't handle their alcohol. The other night they dropped me three time while carrying me to the car."

"A Quebecer staying in a hotel in Edmonton phoned room service for some pepper. ""Black pepper, or white pepper?"" asked the concierge. ""Toilette pepper!"" yelled the Quebecer."

"Why did the kid eat his homework? Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake. -My 6 year old Nephew"

"When does one plus one equal three? Nine months later."

"*wife wonders where I am* *hears every musical snowman in the store start singing* *knows where I am*"

"Mary and Joseph chose to have Jesus in a barn rather than spend Christmas with their families."