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Joke of the Day
"What's the difference between a vampire and a cookie? You can't dip a vampire in your tea."
Next Joke
"What did the left butt cheek say to the right one? If we stick together, we can stop this shit."
"I deserve an Oscar for acting like I can see a baby when someone shows me an ultrasound pic"
"I eat my pop tarts frozen like the vikings used to have them."
"I don't trust kids as far as I can throw them. Currently my record for trusting a kid is 6 feet 11-1/4 inches."
"Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 ate 9. 7 also got herpes from 14 and stabbed 23 through 30 in a gang fight."
"A boy swallows a whole jar of coins... A boy swallows a whole jar of coins, and is taken to a hospital. When the doctor came out to speak with the parents, he said, ""No change yet."""
"Yo mama so lazy she thinks a two-income family is where yo daddy has two jobs."
"Waking up alone with morning wood is one of the hardest things in life. [NSFW]"
"Apparently, starting an impromptu game of leap frog with somebody bending over to tie their shoe is considered rude. Church is boring."