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Joke of the Day
"What's the difference between a vampire and a cookie? You can't dip a vampire in your tea."
Next Joke
"What's Shaking? Not Ali...."
"I swallowed my wrist watch by accident yesterday, Harry. Good heavens! Does it hurt? Only when I wind it."
"My music teacher was arrested for sticking his dick through a sheet of music Apparently, it's illegal to have sex with A minor"
"I broke up with my girlfriend because I like my women like I like my coffee Without other people's dicks in it."
"*decides to workout* *lays on ground to do sit-up* *find skittle on ground* *eats it* *takes nap*"
"I went to McDonald's yesterday and said, ""I'd like some fries"" The girl at the counter said, ""Would you like some fries with that?"""
"I have zero empathy for sociopaths. But to be fair, they don't have any for me, either."
"Moses: Thanks for the mana in the desert. God: No problem. Moses: But since you can make anything- God: FOR THE LAST TIME, NO PIZZA."
"Let's spend the rest of our next 5 to 7 years together."