216985

Joke of the Day

"Moses: Thanks for the mana in the desert. God: No problem. Moses: But since you can make anything- God: FOR THE LAST TIME, NO PIZZA."

"Did you hear about the witch who was so ugly that when a tear rolls down her cheek it takes one look at her face and rolls straight up again?"

"I texted someone ""hell yeah,"" but autocorrect changed it to ""hell year"" because even our phones know."

"Commercial for elbows: A frustrated man steers his car with totally straight arms. ""Why did I go with the cheap arms?!"" Narrator: ""Elbows"""

"Im on the verge of starting my passion, a childrens sporting goods store Little Dicks"

"Stopped drinking coffee 3 days ago, and feel less and less addicted to caffeine with every new cup of my own pee."

"I'm not saying it's hard for me to lose weight, I'm just saying if you interrupt me when I'm eating I'm starting over."

"Why doesn't Barbie have any kids? Because Ken came in another box."

"What's the difference between Batman and a black man? Batman can go in a store without Robin"

"Did you hear about the kidnapping down the street? His mother wouldn'twake him until 3."