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Joke of the Day

"OPRAH AND AIRPORT SECURITY Q: Did you hear why Rosie O'Donnell got arrested? A: Airport security lifted up her dress and found 200 pounds of crack."

"My friend told me that i don't understand irony... Which was ironic, because we were at a bus stop at the time."

"Why are there only seat belts in the end of the bus? Because #backlivesmatter"

"My mom's favorite part of Mother's Day is describing my birth in detail to an 18 year old waitress who is just there to get our drink order."

"What did the child with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer."

"People always look at me weird when I argue with my food, but what can I say? I cook a mean steak."

"All my Facebook friends are starting to have kids. Better deactivate my acct. before they try to guilt me into liking pics of their aliens."

"Worst pickup lines I love bad/funny pickup lines, lets see what you guys' got!"

"Margaret Sanger."

"Today, a hobo called me a beautiful princess, but he pronounced it ""I KNOW YOU HAVE CHANGE, YOU STUPID CRACKER BITCH!""."