65051

Joke of the Day

"Today, a hobo called me a beautiful princess, but he pronounced it ""I KNOW YOU HAVE CHANGE, YOU STUPID CRACKER BITCH!""."

"I read a very good book about astronomy last week. It was stellar."

"You know how I just broke this huge cookie in half and put the other half away like I wasn't going to eat it? That was funny."

"Your mother and I want you to know that we love you very much, so that's why we're getting a divorce and marrying you instead."

"I've been winning egg hunts since before I was even born."

"What's the difference between a middle school flute player and a dress maker Dress makers tuck up frills"

"If I were to invade Djibouti... Do you think Greece would help? [read out loud]"

"Life with me is like a box of chocolates. You never know when you're going to get the crazy one filled with arsenic."

"Here's a crazy idea. What if Budweiser took all that advertising money and actually made better beer?"

"Something is fishy do crabs think fish are flying?"