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Joke of the Day

"People always look at me weird when I argue with my food, but what can I say? I cook a mean steak."

"Why did Hitler really commit suicide? He got the gas bill"

"If a puppy stabbed me in the face and stole my car, I'd still be like, ""aww."""

"A schooner, a clipper and a junk sail into a bar, All hands lost."

"What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust."

"By the power vested in me by this vintage merlot, I now pronounce us husband and wife. I may now kiss the bottle."

"Math Problem Q: If the the radius of a pizza is *z* and its width is *a*, what is the pizza's volume? A: (pi)(z)(z)(a)"

"No, I don't want to hang out at your house. Your pot to snacks ratio is all off."

"What's worse than a worm in your apple? The holocaust. What's worse than that? TWO worms in your apple!"

"I see. You're the ""don't pigeonhole me"" type. Got it."