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Joke of the Day

"Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day Light a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life"

"Cats REALLY hate dryers. However, Patches has Never looked this fluffy"

"What did the boy buy at the grocery store? Too Bad, I'm not telling you!"

"It says right on the redbull can: do not mix with alcohol. What do we do? We make jager bombs. We are not a species made to last."

"What do you call a five year old with no friends? [dark] A sandy hook survivor"

"A general reads War and Peace another soldier asked him how he liked it ""liked the first half, hated the second. "" he said"

"It's like these people that have to shop at Goodwill don't even realize how lucky and trendy they are!"

"What do the final scene of titanic and the iPhone 7 have in common? They both could've fit the jack"

"I bet the guy who invented the percent symbol, %, got his inspiration from watching his wife put on a seatbelt"

"[texting in 1918] *pigeon delivers message* *msg reads: I don't love you* *turns to u* why would u send this? ""it was 6 days ago. I was mad"""