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Joke of the Day

"Asked my 65yo mom what she'd like for Christmas and she said ""Surprise me"". Hope she likes her new pet python."

Next Joke
 
"did you see Iran play in the world cup? I heard they played like Shiate'"
"How do you know your sister has started her period? Your Dad's dick tastes like blood"
"What do ISIS and cats have in common? They're both a bunch of pussies. Credit to Stephen Colbert."
"What goes stomp, stomp, stomp, squish? An elephant with a wet boot"
"Drugs are great until they fall into the wrong hands. I am referring, of course, to the cops or people who don't enjoy life."
"did you hear about the farmer who was also a comedian I heard all his jokes were corny"
"Useless People One useless person is useless. Two useless people are a law firm. Hundreds of useless people are Congress."
"Just saw a bumper sticker that said ""I'd rather be tweeting."" It was on a car that was flipped upside down in a ditch."
"I actually like the smell of hospitals.. Does that make me a sick person?"
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