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Joke of the Day
"Why couldn't the laptop go to sleep? Because it has two shifts."
Next Joke
"If I were to ask you to dance naked for me, would your answer be the same as to this question?"
"What is the difference between a painting and jesus? A painting only need one nail to hang"
"Blowjobs after marriage... Is sad joke."
"Just saw a guy riding a skateboard, holding a surfboard. Dunno where he's going but I assume there's Mountain Dew there."
"[at TED talk] OMG that man is having a heart attack! Anyone here a doctor? *entire crowd stands* No a MEDICAL doctor *entire crowd sits*"
"Mr. Trump, who's your Secretary of State? TRUMP: To deal with China, one that speaks Mandarin [remembers to appeal to women] or Womandarin"
"Your Honor, I would like to cite the legal precedent of Mothra v Godzilla."
"How many feminists does it take to screw in lightbulb? It doesn't matter how many you get, because all they'll do is sit around complaining about how misogynistic the use of the word ""screw"" is."
"Call me crazy but ""dropping the ball"" does not sound like a good way to start off a new year."