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Joke of the Day

"How many feminists does it take to screw in lightbulb? It doesn't matter how many you get, because all they'll do is sit around complaining about how misogynistic the use of the word ""screw"" is."

"I usually read this subreddit on a toilet,... ...so that I dont shit my pants."

"No need to fight over me, ladies. I'm perfectly capable of disappointing all of you sexually."

"I got my kid a puppy as a present, but it died before Christmas... FML, now I'm stuck taking care of a puppy. Edit: For those worried about the kid, it's ok. He was an adopted ginger, so no big deal."

"Schrodinger's cat walks into a bar... And doesn't."

"What does Mr. Kipling do in his spare time? Pumps cream into tarts."

"How many Republicans does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. They only screw the poor."

"I would rather that you'd just paid some of my bills, but thanks for this combination rubik's cube/pepper grinder."

"What's the difference between an oyster fisherman with epilepsy and a prostitute with diarrhea? The oyster fisherman shucks between fits."

"My GF's boobs are pretty odd. I sometimes wish she'd just have 2 of them instead of 3."