190050

Joke of the Day

"Your Honor, I would like to cite the legal precedent of Mothra v Godzilla."

"""How can this idiot possibly be elected as president?"" Says a nation that hasn't gotten over the death of a gorilla in 6 months."

"Whilst at college I did experiment with marijuana. I did it in snow, I did it in sleet, but I did not in hail. ^-- ^Ed ^Byrne"

"what a compliment by husband../ Wife: ""I look fat. Can you give me a compliment?"" Husband: ""You have perfect eyesight."""

"I fucked a fat woman in an elevator.. It was wrong on so many levels"

"Facebook- You: Going to a concert tonight! Friend: Sweet, what concert? Aunt: WHAT IS ITUNEZ?????? HOW IS YOUR DAD????? I LOVE YOU XOXOXO"

"Two farts are hanging in the couch. Says one fart to the other: ""Dude, what are you gonna do tomorrow?"" pfffffffffffffffffffffffft"

"I guess you could say Luke Skywalker single-handedly defeated the empire. I told this joke to someone in a dream, and when I woke up I realized it was actually funny."

"Don't touch my twat my itchy twitchy twat .... Miley Cyrus. Ba dum tish"

"If by raw food you mean cookie dough, then yes, I love raw food."