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Joke of the Day

"Call me crazy but ""dropping the ball"" does not sound like a good way to start off a new year."

"A cop stops an electron for speeding. He says ""Did you know you were going 100 mph?"" ""Great"", says the electron, ""now I'm lost!"""

"Well Officer..we didn't have a bottle so that dead guy over there.. ""Him?"" No the other dead guy..suggested ""Spin The .44""..And I WON!"

"What do you call a nun in a wheelchair? Virgin Mobile"

"Thank you for ordering this $2 necklace from Etsy. With shipping your total comes to $758,937. Item will arrive from Uzbekistan in 3 years"

"How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poker face..."

"Me and my mates are in a band called Duvet. We're a cover band."

"You know how some people call their erect penis a 'hard on'? What do evil midgets call it? A *minion*"

"""I saw mommy kissing santa claus"" has the same number of syllables as ""I saw someone die at Disney World."" Life's funny like that."

"What's the difference between Snowmen and Snow women? Snowballs."