121954

Joke of the Day

"Mr. Trump, who's your Secretary of State? TRUMP: To deal with China, one that speaks Mandarin [remembers to appeal to women] or Womandarin"

"epileptic with a sword What do you get when an epileptic person fights an iceberg with a sword? Seizure Salad"

"I like taking pictures with my friends but my mom says she didn't raise a thief"

"Why are there gay aliens on mars? Because curiosity got the best of them."

"I read a very good book about astronomy last week. It was stellar."

"Why do people say its not you... it's me in a breakup? Yeah it's YOU, you're an idiot! I'm amazing... ask your brother!"

"Why do geologists have children with birth defects? Because they practice relative dating!"

"I swallowed a 1 coin today.. ..I went to the hospital and after poking around for 10 minutes he stuck his head up and said 'ok go home, come back if there's any change' Tight bastard!"

"What do you call an Asian lady sitting on a fence with no arms or legs? Pai-Ling"

"Thanks to this huge spider web I just walked into, we can now add the neighbors to the list of people that have seen me naked."