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Joke of the Day

"*golf pro picks up his ball and eats it* *audience claps politely*"

"dating tip: do NOT kiss their dad on the first date to establish dominance. wait until at least the second date. he will respect you more"

"I was suddenly awoken with a blowjob this morning. That's the last time I fall asleep on the train with my mouth open."

"Q. What kind of motor vehicles are in the Bible? A. David's Triumph was heard throughout the land."

"I remember when my grand father first got his pace maker Every time he would go to use the microwave he would piss his pants and forget who he was for about an half an hour or so."

"Giving my liver a Rocky Balboa style pep talk"

"I used to be a fan but now I'm an air conditioner."

"Only a fraction of you will get this There's a fine line between numerator and denominator"

"What do you call a Deer with... No eyes?: **No idea** No eyes and no legs?: **Still no idea** No eyes and no legs, having sex? **Still f*cking no idea** And where do you find it? **Where you left it**"

"So I met this gorgeous girl... ...and I was sucking her cock last night when I thought to myself ""Hey, wait a minute!"""