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Joke of the Day

"Why is pinocchio so good in the bedroom? He nose what he's doing"

"Who were the world's fastest readers? 9/11 victims. They went through 87 stories in 2 minutes."

"I can teach you to write in steps. I call it stair-case...."

"What's a vampire's fetish? Neckrophilia"

"I bet in Somalia a kid has been like ""I'm so hungry!"" and another's like ""Third world problem!"" and they both laugh and die and stuff."

"Having the option to erase and re-record after having to leave a voicemail is one of my favorite things about life."

"Sometimes, when I don't want anyone to talk to me, I stand on a busy street corner with a clip board."

"What do you call a gay dinosaur? A Megasaurass"

"Sorry I ate all your cake after you passed out and then drew your angry eyebrows on so you'd be ready to discuss it when you woke up."

"Did you know the Bible forbids sunbathing in Greece? That means it is a sin to go to Cos and get a tan."