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Joke of the Day

"The only people that get more concussions than NFL players... ...Are their wives"

"What is a chronic masturbator's favorite meal? Strokin-off"

"How did the hipster burn his tongue? He ate the pie before it was cool."

"I'm attracted to fat chicks... ...by the force of gravity"

"So I used to hang out with a linguist... ...until I found out he was stealing money from me. Turns out he was a false friend."

"When I bring a girl back to my bedroom, I tell her ""this is where the magic happens"", then I pull a rabbit out of a hat."

"What did the blonde do after she combed her hair? .. She pulled her pants up."

"How does batman store energy? In BATteries"

"Jared Fogle was guilty and got 16 years He was just grateful for anything under 18. Credit to SNL that joke might have converted me to watch."

"A German asks for a martini... ""Dry?"" asks the barman. He replies, ""Nein, just one."""