122022
Joke of the Day
"Damn girl, are you alcohol? Because I've had too much of you and I'm going to throw up."
Next Joke
"What is the opposite of Christopher Reeve? (Sorry if you've heard this) Christopher Walken"
"Gf: do I look fat in these pants? Brain: oh god it's a trap, this is what we've been training for Me: I've seen worse Brain: WTF MAN"
"What mythical creature is the most bloody? A hemogoblin!"
"Wife: ""Did you know that some idiot paid $96,000 for Princess Leia's gold bikini?"" Me: [nervously tightening my robe] ""Who would do that?"""
"What do programmers and obese people have in common? They both call an 8-course meal a bite."
"Don't worry guys, my wife just turned the car radio down so we shouldn't be lost much longer."
"Why arent koalas actual bears? They dont meet the koalafications."
"Why are females so moody when they're on their period? It's an ovary action."
"LPT: If your phone gets wet, try putting it in a bag of dry rice. At night, the rice will attract Asians who will fix your electronics for you."